Congratulations, You've Failed.....BOOK Giveaway

Goodreads Book Giveaway

Congratulations You've Failed

by Shahla Khan

Giveaway ends July 01, 2014.

See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

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What/who do you turn to for peace?

Are you connected with the best platforms of life?

Social Media platforms are a part of our life today. We all have some sorts of virtual accounts that connect us with thousands of others. I am sure you have come across viral videos and research lately that is pointing out the psychological damages of virtual networking on each user. We have this illusion in our minds that we are "connected" with so many people but the fact is we were never more lonely. Likes and status updates is just a bid for attention or an attempt to provoke envy, say the researchers.

I do have accounts on few platforms and while I cannot deny some benefits, I do agree with their negative aspects as well.

Anyways, this led me thinking, instead of Social Media Platforms, how about I focus on my Spiritual Media Platforms?

Don't know what that is?

No worries, its simple and will improve the quality of your life by 100%...


"Spiritual Media Platforms are those networks or connections that do not need technology and words."

Let me quote my example. I notice that the solution to most of my problems come from water, in water or around it. After a long tiring day, I need a long hot bath. After a long hot day, I need a dip in a cold pool. When it rains, I can spend hours under the bare sky. When I need to cry, I am in the shower. When I need inspiration for new ideas, I am in my bubbly bath, creasing my brows in deep thought as I pour fist fulls of water from one palm to another or scoop up some bubbles in my palm and blow them slowly as I think harder.

My spiritual connection is with water. Unfortunately, there is no beach near my home and I don't have access to the larger bodies of water (neither man made nor real). But I turn to water in whatever way I can, to find that spiritual connection and find my peace.


If you don't know your spiritual contact yet, you must focus on what has worked in the past. It could be-

1. Silent praying

2. A chat with your Mom

3. Gardening

4. Feeding the fishes or birds

5. Watching the stars glow

6. A walk in the park

7. Lay flat over the sands of an Arabian desert 

                     ........................................... the list goes on.

I am sure you have one too. Always cherish your connection with that one thing and spend more time with it than you do on other social media platforms that mitigate the quality of your life with crowds of school friends you never spoke with even when you sat in the next row to them.

I would love to hear from you about your spiritual connections. Let me know about some interesting and quirky connections you have made and how do they make you feel.

What/who do you turn to for peace?

The KILLER TOOL to achieve success in your mission...

If you fail to plan,
You are planning to fail...

I am sure you've heard that before. I've heard it so many times, I don't even know who actually coined it.
Nevertheless, the importance of its message is classic and timeless.

Instead of giving you a great long lecture on goals and ambition, let us just jump right into it today! Let us begin:

1. Download the worksheet I have uploaded for you.
2. Sit down in a relaxed environment with just a pen and the print out.
3. Take your time and fill each section.
4. Remember to write only about your opinions and feelings, not what others think you should do.
5. When you're done, stick the sheet around your work area or bed.

6. (Optional)
You can write and let me know if this simple tool helped you and your experience with breaking down your goals.

As Jim Ron says, "If you don't design your own life plan, chances are you'll fall into someone else's plan. And guess what they have planned for you? Not much."

Have a wonderful time with your thoughts and may you succeed in your endeavors.

Until next time,

Love and light

Shahla

Is your FACEBOOK or TWITTER PROFILE TURNING YOU INTO A JEALOUS FREAK?

Are you too self involved? Is your spouse a narcissist? Download FREE Personality quiz ebook to find out. 

Visit 

http://eepurl.com/RZF2v to find out more.

How NOT to be a jerk?

An excerpt from Congratulations, You've Failed.

"The real lover is the man who can thrill you by kissing your forehead or smiling into your eyes or just staring into space."- Marilyn Monroe

I am sorry to not include advice on how not to be a jerk for females. The reason is because there is already a whole lot of existing literature out there in religious, social and cultural books advising women. I am not prejudiced but I feel men need a little more help, so here it is.

1. Offer her a coat if she is cold outdoors.
2. Offer her a blanket if she is cold indoors.
3. Hold the door for her.
4. Don’t check her phone or emails behind her back. Trust issues should be dealt separately.
5. Don’t humiliate her in front of your friends and family.
6. Respect her dreams, ambition and career choices.
7. While you are together, don’t play with your phone. Nothing can be ruder.
8. TALK- for god sake, communicate how you feel. If you are not good at expressing your feelings, WORK on it or break up but please don’t expect the person to continue the relationship with a healthy mute person.
9. Don’t try to control your partner. Or else, like Beth Behr says in 2 Broke Girls, ‘one of these nights, she is coming after you, probably in the dark, probably with a knife…’ Well, that was too extreme but you get my point. Don’t push someone to the extent that they begin to hate you.
10. Don’t comment on other women’s body parts when you are with her. No matter how ‘cool’ she might act, this is unacceptable.
11. Don’t spend a fortune on your own grooming products and give her a speech when she spends on hers.
12. Don’t get jealous of anyone she speaks with. Again, deal with trust issues separately. A suspicious husband is better in grave.
13. Don’t try to show off yourself as an alpha male and get in trouble with the police or other men.
14. Be a friend who she can rely on and can’t wait to share her life with rather than a judgmental snob.
15. Don’t ever forget to cuddle for long. Pearls are collected from the shore after the waves return to the sea.
16. Don’t force her to do things or try things which she is uncomfortable with. You may end up in prison.
17. Don’t expect her to do your laundry and dishes. She is not your mother. Share household responsibilities.
18. Take her for long drives and dinners out. A simple change in the environment can be wondrous.
19. Don’t lie about your relationship status in public or with friends. If you are unsure, let that be transparent. But if you are in a full fledged relationship and act like a single person, the results can be catastrophic when she finds out about it.
20. Don’t put her in the least priority file of your life. If she is that unimportant, just break up and let her be someone else’s priority.
21. This goes without saying but please don’t play with two women at the same time. Finish with one off first and only then move on to another. Be genuine.

The list can go on but the point is if you genuinely care for her, it will show. And if you are faking it, that would come across pretty easy too. Don't take your partner for granted, this might be your best shot.

Bless you.

Ciao!

5 LIFE CHANGING lessons in PRODUCTIVITY-managing life and being effective

We often worry about our productivity. Nothing is worse than being unable to complete your tasks as planned due to no good reason. If you want to increase your productivity, here are the instant things to do that will help.

1. Control chaos

A clutter free desk is like a clutter free mind. You may have loads of files or papers on your table, lists on your wall and icons on your computer screen. No matter what medium, make sure you don’t see more than 3 things at a time. Make sure your desk has even lesser papers. Organize your stationary in proper holders so everything is reachable when needed. I often tend to work with a lot of printed data at once and I like to play around with my material. While I am working, I place all my papers on my desk or over the floor and go back and forth with my papers. It looks chaotic but as an individual that works better with visual and tangible things, I am at my best. But this does not mean I should leave all the papers behind after I finish. To begin your next task with a fresh perspective, you need to bring this one to a closure and clear your desk and your mind.

2. Be foolish-ask questions

If you have a Team Leader or Manager that instructs you, you may notice that you don’t always get the instructions right. There are unclear statements. It could be due to language difference, industry jargon or simply because of diverted attention. If there are things we don’t understand, we often tend to pretend like we did. We don’t ask questions because we don’t want to look foolish. The fact is, if you ask questions, you’re being intelligent. Clarity is the mother of productivity. If you know exactly what to do and how to do it, there is nothing that can stop you from doing it well. Most times, productivity is pathetic not because people are less skilled but simply because they do not understand what is required but they are too proud to ask. Don’t be like that.

3. Momentum

This factor is best related to my PhD studies. When you have large list of tasks to complete for a project, you tend to postpone it to the last minute. Study, the night before final exam. Print the travel tickets on the way to the airport. Finish the business report by pulling an all nighter. We all do that at some point. The exact word for this disease is ‘procrastination’. The cure is to build momentum. Make sure you divide your task into small bits over a period of time frame and complete each sub task as and when due, no excuses. Keeping the momentum helps PhD students finish an 80K word thesis before viva.

4. Emailing

The worst enemy of your productivity is emailing. Unless you are a secretary and your job depends on electronic communication, DO NOT open your inbox first thing in the morning. When you start your work, begin with your most important list of things to do for that day. Planning is necessary and without a plan you will be lost and never productive. Your inbox can divert your attention to useless things and other people’s urgent tasks and keep you from yours. Open your inbox after you have done at least half of your tasks.

5. Play

People underestimate the importance of play and fun. Whether you work from home or at a tall sky scrapper, find time to play. By play I mean activities like meditation, light chats and enjoying food. Taking a brief nap, resting peacefully at a lounge and other relaxation activities can have huge impacts on both your productivity and creativity. Did you know that Google employees are left free to spend almost 20% of their paid work time to pursue their hobbies and things of interest also called ‘special projects’? This is where many of products take birth. They also have swimming pools, gyms, video games and other such amusing facilities at Googleplex including massage therapists and barbers.

So, make sure you incorporate these simple, logical but highly effective strategies in your work and see the difference.

What is the best way to learn life?

The best way to learn life is to know which part you want to learn. This is why it is compelling to begin with Abraham Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs. Don’t worry if it sounds too complex, it is really simple. Here is the pyramid.

TRAVEL: As you can see, the base of the pyramid is our basic needs. To explore about these, travel to some part of the world where food and water is scarce. This is not just the basic human need to survive, it is also the most difficult to bear. Apparently, our existence can be wiped out without it yet we pay so little attention to learning about these. It is not enough to go to a grocery shop and buy your food. To know about where it comes from, how many people don’t have enough food, the consequences of excess food, the quality of your air, the source of the water you drink, basics of safe sex and importance of non drugged sleep are just some starting points in your journey to learn life.

EARN: Next come the need for financial resources, health and home. This is a mix of many things. You can learn about these beginning from menial or low wage jobs in order to understand how the world works, the rules of spending hard earned cash and a lot more. Trust me, spending your parents money will never teach you these.

HOME: Love, sense of belongingness and sexual intimacy go back to the parents. The best way to learn about all this is from your parents; what to do and what NOT to do as well. As a child, you see your parents as role models and assume what they do are ‘usual’. The way your parents interact with each other or fight with each other has a great influence on you and will stay with you forever. Whenever you enter in a relationship, you’ll act like your parents did (more often than not).

UNIVERSITY: The next set of needs can be best learnt at school, university or college. When you learn or get an education, you reach that second last level in the hierarchy. This is where ‘good’ candidates stay or rather pretend to stay.

YOURSELF: The topmost area is reserved for greatness. To learn greatness, you must know about the things below. The greatness triangle is also called ‘self-actualization’. It involves skills like problem solving, creativity, morality etc. In other words, it contains people who are great, the ones who contribute to the welfare of the entire society, not just of themselves. To learn how to be great, you must learn to be the best of what you can be and contribute it to make the world a better place.

Ciao!